I understand that this is a bold statement and that many of you out there love Web MD, myself included. However, time and again, I have gone to the site only to feel panicked and worried by my visit. It has a way of feeding my hypochondria that the medical dictionary my mother keeps in a kitchen cabinet does not.
The first time that Web MD led me astray was when I had mono during my sophomore year of college. They call mono the “kissing disease” because it is supposedly transferred through saliva, however it is also an airborne illness. The “kissing disease” moniker attracted a lot of unnecessary questions regarding who I had been kissing. If you knew me, you knew it was no one because of my relative lack of a social life, as aforementioned in the last blog titled, “It’s Not Me, It’s You.”
My doctor at the time had not treated many people with mono, as it is usually a childhood disease (cooties and all). After receiving my tests back, he panicked in reaction to my “alarmingly low” white blood cell count. He called my mother and told her to take me to Children’s Hospital immediately because they have a better handle on childhood diseases, even though he feared that I may have something more sinister like Lupus or Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. My mother proceeded to have a melt down before she called me to tell me the news. At 20 years old, I had very little idea what either of these things were, so I hit up Web MD. After reading a few articles, I had myself convinced that I had one of these ill fated diseases and was subsequently on my death bed.
So, before heading to the hospital I began making a mental note of my will. I would donate all of my books to the library, my brother could have my room (if my parents hadn’t decided to make it into a shrine), my clothes were a wash and were also to be donated, my movies would go to my friend Rachel because she is the only other person I know that likes “The Skeleton Key“, and my friend Nicole could have whatever CD’s I had accumulated that were not Elton John or Billy Joel.
While waiting in the hospital waiting room, I was forced to wear a surgical mask over my mouth so as not to spread any contagions to the children. Needless to say people couldn’t help but stare and sneakily point at me. Not only was I 20 years old and at Children’s Hospital, but I was wearing a mask. I may as well have had a neon sign over top of me saying something like, “I have the bird flu,” or “This is the beginning of the pandemic of your nightmares, where everyone turns into a zombie.” Five hours later, when I was finally seen by a doctor, they were perplexed as to why I was there. Apparently mono and low white blood cell counts are synonymous.
The second time Web MD led me to believe that I may need to fear for my life was recently. I had been dealing with a pretty nasty sinus infection for a few weeks. I just could not knock it. I heard about a surgery where you could have your sinuses drained and alleviate some of the sinus pressure, gross I know. So, I decided to look up my symptoms on Web MD to see what the possible cures for a sinus infection were. After typing in the symptoms, a few different ailments came up on the screen. Listed as the top possibility for the symptoms I was having was cyanide poisoning.
I felt fairly certain that no one in my house was trying to poison me, but I have always had a sneaking suspicion that my beagle would like to off me and take my position in the family. Just in case her evil plan was being put into action, I checked the history on both computers in our house. To my relief, no one had searched cyanide poisoning. Touché Web MD, you fooled me again.
Other failed diagnoses from Web MD:
Symptoms- Fatigue, weight gain, hair growth, nail growth, and feeling of nausea at the smell of things that you used to like.
Diagnosis- You are a werewolf.
Treatment- Ask someone to shoot you with a silver bullet or have someone shoot the werewolf who bit you with a silver bullet. Those are your only two options.
Symptoms- Loss of appetite, weight loss, irritability, and fever.
Diagnosis- You have scurvy.
Treatment- Drink some orange juice or buy an eye patch and set sea with the pirates. ARR!
Comments on: "Web MD Is A Fear Monger" (247)
If the silver bullet thing doesn’t work out, the differential diagnosis would be pregnancy.
Haha! I immediately thought pregnancy, too. Which is why everytime I have a “fat day,” and can’t button my jeans I think I’m having a baby!
oh my god same!! only on account of my virginity i decide i am expecting the next baby jesus. although then i decide that i’m hardly the ideal candidate, seeing as how i haven’t been to church in like 3 years. because that’s clearly the only flaw in that logic…
WebMD is a hypochondriacs worst nightmare. I had some slight discoloration for a couple of weeks on some of my fingernails, and WedMD told me I had liver failure. What the hell…
@Maxim: Yes it is! That is crazy! That site is awesome, but terribly erroneous sometimes!
@becomingcliche: Yes, I started with general things and then thought that it kind of sounded like pregnancy, but knowing Web MD, they would also put the worst case scenario..being a werewolf lol.
Little known fact: it’s more often a werewolf bite. There’s a government conspiracy to keep that one under wraps, though. The Surgeon General hated Twilight.
Haha if I dare say being a werewolf might be a little cooler than being pregnant! Darn government cover-ups. (And the Surgeon General and I are on the same page there.)
haha I would have suspected Chloe as well…but I agree that web MD and I do not go well together. the funny thing is that I used it today! I was having this weird pain in my left side near my armpit, I just thought it was odd so I looked it up. and of course the first thing that came up was breast cancer… I shut the computer down right there and decided I need to stop searching my symptoms…
Haha well you know how she is. She is always my first suspect. And eek! I would have been planning the floral arrangement at my funeral by that point lol.
You’re a werewolf too?!
haha I wish!
Haha, great post! I had no idea what Web MD was until I read this. I think it’s best that I steer clear of it!
Btw – I forgot to mention that I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award last week. Oops! http://tennizzlle.wordpress.com/2012/01/14/ending-the-week-on-a-high/
Yay!
Yes, Web MD will definitely feed any fears you may have lol!
Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! I had not heard of this until I read your blog! I greatly enjoy reading yours as well, because it reminds me so much of similar experiences of mine!
i would hate to learn i was a werewolf. i wonder how much time a person has to say goodbye? the length of time it takes to make a shiny silver bullet?
with the price of silver these days, you will have plenty time to enjoy lots of good-bye parties
Haha that’s very true!
Wow — I was just commenting on another blog about how I seriously thought I had Werewolf syndrome a while back thanks to Internet searching. It’s a REAL affliction…I kid you not!
WebMD: a gift for those who love research, a curse for those who believe everything they read…
I’m getting a damn hip replacement in 3 days and you bet I have stayed FAR away from the Internet, taking advice only from personal friends who’ve been through it. There is only so much anxiety a girl can handle, and reading that stuff can make you insane.
According to Web MD I have every disease known to man.
I don’t consider myself a feminist, but after the latest batch of newsletters received from WebMD: “3 Exercises — Say: So Long! to Your Saddlebags,” “Build a Better Bust: 2 Simple Exercises,” and “Erase the Signs of Aging, No Knife Required,” I’m teetering toward being one, or at least engaging in an extended rant at some of the stuff that website promotes.
Last week my vision was blurry and I was getting migraines then I went to WebMD on my iPhone (i’m deleting the app after this) and it said “detached retinas”, got worried and went to the doctor. Told me I need to rest my eyes more and perhaps adjust my computer monitor position & settings. Got some sleep and eyes are now fine. LOL.
thanks for the laugh, I love your last line! “ARR”
I am sitiing in my kitchen laughing my ass off, alone thank god so no one can see the mucus coming out of my nostrils…you my dear are a great writer and funny as hell..if you move me this way with your intellect and humor…you might be somebody!!…Not a warewolf…Im reading it again…uhm just to mention most blogs suck!!! hehe keep writing for my entertainment…and others..Peace and Love T
There are three sure things in life: Taxes, death, and Googling your symptoms will always lead to a cancer diagnosis.
Oh, how true. It always make me more paranoid and stressed out when I read about the possible causes of my symptoms online.
Great post, the other failed diagnosis had me laughing out loud!
Congrats on being freshly pressed
Don’t downplay the risk of scurvy! An entire generation of Somali pirates is growing up bow-legged.
LOL WebMD LOL
This post kept me reading till the very end!
LOL! WebMD has many many useless features, the Hypochondriac’s Self-Diagnoser being the worst of them. When I used to work at a doctor’s office we actually would tell certain patients who were prone to hypochondria that part of their treatment was to NOT look at WebMD or Google their symptoms.
Because it doesn’t matter what you feel like. You always have lupus!
Is being a pirate legal if it’s on prescription?
Great post
according to Web MD I’ve had diabetes at least 4 times… right now i am having a pain in my leg which could be, according to Web MD, deep vein thrombosis.
Yeah – Web MD is the refuge of the hypocondriac. They love it! Half the people I know think the have a terminal disease anytime they look something up on Web MD.
Hilarious post – scurvy! Thanks!
Kristin
coupletastic.com
Hahaha congrats on being freshly pressed!
Yes, this post could not be more true! I had a similar experience last year. I was experiencing really strange and sometimes intense chest, side and back pains. I started searching on the internet and according to Web MD I was suffering from cancer. At 26 and in otherwise perfect health, I instantly assumed I was going to be one of those tragic stories. I became depressed and anxious thought for sure I was dying. Finally, I saw a doctor, and then a specialized doctor, and both wondered what in the world I was there for, convinced that it was a muscular issue and that I had no reason to be concerned. But I couldn’t stop googling, and then I became one of those paranoid people who was afraid that two qualified, experienced doctors were wrong and I was really in trouble and it was up to me (and the internet) to save myself. Finally, someone suggested I try seeing a chiropractor. She spent an hour with me, pinpointed more or less exactly what was going on, and managed to reduce about 75% of my pain almost instantly. Now, 15 months later, I am alive (although I still occasionally have pain, likely caused by the 15 hours a day I spend on the computer, heavy purses and a cheap Ikea mattress). But according to Web MD, I should be dead by now.
I think the moral of the story in all of this is just go see a doctor. There’s a reason they spent like 30 years in school. If Web MD really knew what was going on with you and was totally accurate, medical schools would cease to exist.
Web MD freaks me out… I have ringing in my ears.. the site tells me I have anything from Labyrinthitis to Vertigo to Anemia..
seems a werewolf isn’t a bad deal!
Great post.
LOL. I do have a love/hate relationship with WebMD. I think it’s best when you’re trying to find out information about something specific. The diagnosis is very faulty, but I will admit, it’s fun to play on.
You just made me laugh with the werewolf diagnosis. You’re hysterical
val
http;//valentinedefrancis.wordpress.com
I had a doctor who did the same thing to me, also when I was around 20 years old. He sent me to the ER because “viral meningitis was going around and just to be on the safe side.” I My mom and I arrive and they put us in another room because “you may be highly contagious.” They didn’t have me wear a mask, though. Just separated me from the herd, much like a leper in Biblical times, I assume. Oh, and they informed me that they test for meningitis by doing a SPINAL TAP. I burst into tears and was having a serious panic attack. I abhor needles, let alone a needle IN MY SPINE. Thank God, I eventually saw a doctor who was not an arm-waving alarmist. The diagnosis? Sinus infection. I think the doctor who sent me there *was* the “Web MD.” Funny post!!
LOL!! I may have been biten by a werewolf a few years back. Great post!!
I’ve had the same sneaking suspicion about our beagle! I don’t know what’s worse: WebMD telling you that you could have any one of twenty deadly diseases, or a real live doctor who can’t come up with a single actual thing that is wrong with you despite your symptoms.
That was hilarious.
I don’t know how many times WebMD has led me to believe I am on the brink of an agonizing death.
I 100% agree with you. As a medical student, I use MedScape a lot. I was shocked when I downloaded WebMD, knowing it is created by the same people, and having a vastly different experience.
MedScape is the ultimate academic tool, and I have at times used it for my own health. WebMD, on the other hand, sent me into a flat spin. And I’m a medical student, I should know the danger of such apps.
Granted, somewhere on WebMD’s diff dx they did mention hypothyroidism, and I was recently diagnosed with that… buuuuut it is still a fear monger, and I think I might threaten my patients with horrible injections should they attempt self-diagnosis using WebMD one day.
This truly is a great post. Very funny. I totally feel your pain, i’m a total hypochondriac. Oh and by the way, i’m a medical student as well – my life can be a living hell some times, but most often i can rationalize the paranoia by taking a deep breath.
I think it is very bad when people type their symptoms in the google bar – or web md for that matter. Most people will find that they have cancer since it is what they are looking for.
This was HILARIOUS and so true. WebMD turned my sore throat into esophageal cancer. I was convinced my daughter was going to grow up mother-less. My doctor was like, “Umm…you’re fine. Allergies, perhaps?” Those jerks!
My boyfriend is continually telling me to look up my symptoms online if I am not feeling well. WebMD is the first thing that Google throws at me each time. YOU ARE SO RIGHT! If I have a cough the thing tells me it could be anything from a cold to the black plague. I could not agree with you more. Well done.
Hah! Ruvree
At the end of the day these guys are businesses focused on making people pay them money.
The people are getting less than ever for the money though.
http://youronline.biz/
This is too damn funny for words. And being a fellow hypochondriac, I truly appreciated the laugh. Well done.
I think for a hypochondriac, any internet medical information can be dangerous. I have spent days before trying to figure out if there was something wrong with me that the doctors were missing, like maybe adrenal failure… (turned out I couldn’t eat corn and I need to exercise more. I figured that out on my own, but none of the websites told me that.) Now, I avoid those things almost all the time. Only way to keep my sanity. (And my grades at the A level without panicking.)
Dr. Oz is a fear monger.
Ugh. I feel your pain on this and the mono thing. I totally had mono in college too and my doctor had the opposite reaction. It took like three visits, with all of the mono symptoms, before they actually tested and diagnosed me. I was freaking out because I was so sick and didn’t know what was wrong with me. Sigh. By the time I found out what I had I was getting better.
The best M.D. is still the one you actually see and meet in person. The Web can be an overwhelming place causing unnecessary fears. Patient’s comes to the emergency room already with a diagnosis as their main complaint. They would also demand diagnostic tests that are not needed like radiology test. Some would subject themselves to 5 or more x-rays, C.T. in one year…all normal. Then to realize years later how much radiation they were exposed to. Thanks to Web MD and the likes. Knowledge is good but if not coupled with experience….can be a two edge sword! Congratulations.
That was one of the funniest things I’ve read!
From a fellow hypochondriac:)
WebMD is just an extension of the medical industry proper, and ‘fear mongering’ is precisely what fits the bill. Western society medicine is based entirely on two things:
1. a reactionary approach to medicine, rather than a preventative one
2. treat the symptom, not the illness
My own experiences with WebMD are the akin: at the end of every symptom flowchart on that site is ‘your condition is severe: see a doctor immediately’.
Thanks for your coverage.
You spelled awkward wrong in your tagline lol
Whatever I type into Web MD, I always have colon cancer. “Symptoms: fainting, headaches, dizziness. Answer: Ah yes, you have colon cancer again.”
I only use Web MD as a game to find out how many times in a row I can get it to tell me I have rectal cancer.
I believe the only disease our world is suffering from is conditional love
I’ve visited WebMD maybe once and then never again, I don’t really understand why people even bother.
When you get the diagnosis from the web take it with a degree of mistrust. When you get the same diagnosis from your doctor make sure first his computer is off. There are a lot more diseases than symptoms. I was once pre-bequeathed my neighbours four children because she lied to her doctor about the dosage of her vitamin B12 supplements. All he mentioned was an “abnormality” in her blood test. Great post. Good call on the CD’s.
I make a habit of forcing myself not to look up my symptoms. I take cold medicine and drink lots of echinacea tea. When it doesn’t go away I make myself go into a minute clinic. Everytime I go to webMD I end up with some horrible disease and a panic attack.
I 100% blame WebMD and other internet based medical information sources for my crippling fear of all the diseases I might have.
I was on WebMD this morning and as fate would have it very very often and understand your feelings completely! Every time I’m sick, I make a list of possibilities and WebMD really can contribute to high blood pressure and is a hypochondriac’s worst nightmare! @mllea way to beat the odds! We should invent a less intense internet database with friendly medical advice that tells you to stop searching and can help diagnose based on searches. Where’s an IT guy to start that up for us?
Very funny post! I too have spent hours on WebMD diagnosing things all over my body. My husband is a doctor but I’ll be darned if he can stand this site or the fact that I pepper him with questions of possible illnesses every time I get on it! I like the part where you click on the part of the body that hurts. Good times. Maybe it’s time for me to ban WebMD from my life.
Thanks for the laugh.
I have a brain tumor, an aneurism, multiple sclerosis, meningitis and epilepse, and have suffered a stroke according to WebMD. According to my doctor its just migrains.
Haha oh Web Md!
What the hell kind of college did you go to that any doctor in a 30 mile radius doesn’t know mono?
I think he just didn’t have many young people as patients.
It isn’t just WebMD. So much of the web is terribly frightening to people looking for diagnoses. I get to spend a lot of my time talking people down from the thirty self-diagnosed illnesses they are convinced they have. No werewolves this week. I did have two cancer scares and a tapeworm discussion.
Doctors are just as bad. I remember being in pathology convinced I had every single thing we’d studied that week and the week before. By the end I could watch nasty dermatology slides while eating lunch. It did put me off roast beef for a while. Hard to eat tendons between looking at them and dissecting them out of a homeless guy. If you said, “ew, gross,” you’re not medical. If you just nodded your head and remembered your own corpse explorations, you’re medical. If you cackled in glee and slapped your hands together, you’re an Igor.
Oh gosh ew haha!!! Very funny!
As much as no one likes going to the doctor at times you just have to.
very, very true!
I liked this post. Being sick it made me glad I didn’t look it up on WebMD… at least I don’t think I did LOL. Keep up the good work.
Haha why thank you!
Reblogged this on rogersdimean.
Thanks!
hello, not famous,
ahaha! i so love the last diagnosis as well as the treatment. btw, did you get yourself an eye patch and when did you get back from the sea? ^^
am expecting the novel that would tell us more about the sea misadventure, maybe halfway like a joseph conrad novel, huh? or, is that too much to expect, lols! ^^
it’s a funny post, thanks for sharing.
haha well I will see what I can come up! Thanks for the challenge!
And I’m glad you liked it!
Very interesting story. You can see also my proposal for bibliotherapy.
Thanks so much!!
I’ve reported WebMD on my blog because they support unscientific psychotherapist that are known to cause harm to patients – specifically in supporting the belief in multiple personalities and dissociative identity disorder for which there is no medical evidence that it exists.
In addition, WebMD’s writers are not whom we think they are. The articles are not always written by a doctor. Look at the bottom of the article. What you see is a doctor signing off on the article, not writing it. Are the doctors actually reading the articles first? You decide.
Thank you for your article, it should go a long way to educating the public about mental health care.
I meant to write that WebMD supports Psychotherapy, not psychotherapist.
Wow. Thank you very much for the information! I appreciate it!
I haven’t been on Webmd in ages! Well, not since my fatigue, light sensitivity, and insomnia led to a diagnosis of vampirism. After a close call with sharp wooden objects and a little diet enhancement, I decided Webmd was not my friend.
After reading your amazing blog, I decided to go to the site and search some positive health symptoms. Upon entering happy and energetic, I was flooded with articles regarding my diagnosis as bipolar. Awesome Webmd!
Great blog. I really enjoyed reading!
Haha! Thanks so much!!
[...] for their ground-breaking expose, Web MD Is a Fear-monger. I’m glad someone else don’t always get the answers they search for on the [...]
WebMD, or any online medical site for that matter, has to give the worst case scenario even for common flu symptoms or else people would probably be suing them all the time. If the diagnosis was just, “get some rest and have plenty of fluids”, people who might actually be really sick wouldn’t otherwise see their family doctor until much later (if the symptoms persisted).
It’s kinda like an avalanche warning system being on ‘low’ even when there’s <1% chance of an avalanche occurring.
That’s a good analogy! Thanks!
LOL That’s the saddest story ever. I don’t ever look up my symptoms online because I can’t even handle watching a tv show where they mention a disease without becoming convinced I have it.
Haha like Mystery Diagnosis? That’s the one I’m afraid of lol.
You’re not alone in your feelings about Web MD, I too wanted to check my symptoms prior to heading to the doctor only to believe that I had some sort of cancer or auto immune disease.
After getting myself worked up I made it to the doctor who informed me NOT to look up things on the internet, they only cause confusion and stress and there is no way to know what’s going in my body just by reading a couple of suggestions on Web MD.
I love the internet and the mass information at our fingertips but maybe in this case too much information isn’t necessarily a good thing!
So true! It really can be more of a problem than a solution.
I agree with you on webmd, but I think it’s more than just that. People in general are more scared of disease. The local news stations go into full out panic mode in response to certain diseases, like the swine flu. Serious, yes, but ours constantly flashed red contagion symbols with a burr burr alarm noise, almost as if the tv could detect the organism in the house. And Even then, after all that and children wearing masks to school for fear of others’ sharing their air, our town never got it like we were supposed to.
And then there is a doctor that I had one time. He put me on stuff that was detrimental to my health, refused to acknowledge that the patient (again, me) should ask questions or have input, and just knew that I had a year to live. After a big commotion and changing insurances, the new doctor discovered that the meds the previous one prescribed were causing problems, and took me off of them. And he never understood why I was afraid for my life when his tests were more optimistic.
I guess if they can’t scare us, we will go back to treating specific illnesses, and forget preemptive or long term care. Not that they don’t have their uses and needs, I just think sometimes our current methods can be a little heavy handed.
Very true!
SO TRUE! After a couple internet-fueled hypochondriac episodes, I had to promise my boyfriend I wouldn’t use WebMD anymore. But you know what is almost worse than Web MD? Pet Web MD! Now I can obsess about my cat’s health too!
I was going to include a link, but decided not to. No need to spread that around!
Oh God!! haha I am not even going to seek that one out! Thanks for not sharing lol
According to WebMD I should be collecting my wife’s life insurance policy right about now. Unless of course I die from the cold I have right now.
haha!!
Great article, the worst is the Web MD app…when you click a part of the body and they ask you a few questions and tell you possible conditions…I’ve got cancer quite a few times. I think it’s dangerous and surprised that this can be legal. I wonder how many people got severely ill or died because they relied on webMD. Maybe I’m over-exaggerating.
Anyway, WebMD is useful in providing supportive articles/networks about certain conditions or information about medication a person or loved one is taking, but I think they crossed the line when they started playing doctor.
Haha yes!
your doctor is questionable. why would he jump to such conclusions without doing more tests???
I think he was trying to be pragmatic, but I am not sure. He really riled my mom up and no one wants that!
I totally agree and I love your attitude about this. I recently experienced some health issues that radically changed my life. During “research,” I found that I had to stay away from the internet, WEBMD and any other site that helped any poor soul self diagnose. It would send me into a tail spin. Finding the jewels in the midst of the manure can be difficult, and looking for and finding the right site is almost impossible.
I have come to accept that any one in the medical field is just as human as anyone else walking around on this planet.
Well I am glad to hear that you were able to make it through that difficult time! I hope you continue to do well!
LOL.
My mind has been much more peaceful since then.
I quit diagnosis on WebMD a long time ago. It must be one of the most wise decisions I made.
I am definitely working toward this!
Thanks to WebMD, I have had Leukemia about 18 times in the last 3 years. Luckily I have actually had Leukemia zero times in the real world.
Aha, LOL. god ole.WebMD
Yes, haha!!
Haha that is good! You 1 Leukemia 0
your writing is wonderful. so glad I found your blog. I love reading fellow writers who are around the same age as I am….
Thanks so much!! I’m glad you like my writing!
That’s pretty funny. I stopped using WebMD and use the Mayo Clinic symptom checker now. There’s a lot less ads and it’s a little more realistic in what they come up with, though, I guess you should always talk to a doctor before coming to any conclusions about what you have. I think 99% of the time I’ve gone to the doctor with what I self diagnosed myself as, I’ve been wrong. Sometimes too much information is a bad thing.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/symptom-checker/DS00671
Thanks! I’ll have to check that one out!
Was I the Rachel that got your movies?
By the way I seriously need to catch up on your blog! Im reading it right now in the middle of my six sigma class haha i love you em congrats on your blog success!!
Yes because you also liked Skeleton Key lol. Haha thanks!!!!
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I don’t even check WebMD anymore! Not since MY mono incident. I love the movie the skeleton key and I have no idea why!
I am so glad that other people like that movie too!!!!
Awesome post! Web MD is the worst! It just psyches you out. After symptoms that resembled to common cold, web MD told me I had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma! Turns out, it was the common cold. “You are a werewolf.” HAHA clever!
Thank you!!!
Hehehe…We are so weird.
Yes!
Haha so true! I’ve noticed that when I look up symptoms on Web MD, often it’s left to either something really common and easily treatable, or something that will kill me. It’s terrifying!
So true!!
check out myblog http://renovationperfection.wordpress.com/
Thanks for the share!
I stay off Web MD for the same reason. According to them I have COPD, BPD and ADHD. Also anemia which of course means vampire or low iron count. They were a little vauge on that point.
Haha vampirism is a pandemic!
I avoid WebMd at all costs.
That’s probably a good idea!
Great post. At first I thought the hair and nail grwoth was Howard Hughes desease (death) but it had a happy wolf ending.
Oh wow! Good one! I just watched a show about him the other day. I’m not convinced he wasn’t secretly a werewolf lol.
Too funny!! Great post!
Thanks!!
[...] Scouring the interwebz reading hilarious blog posts [...]
Thanks to WebMD.Great help from this blog! Thanks a lot for the information I needed.
Thank you for reading!!
You have to give WebMD some credit. Without WebMD, people who constantly call in sick wouldn’t have illnesses to think up of as their excuse for constantly calling in sick. They probably even have been “diagnosed” with their illness from WebMD when any physician will tell them there is nothing wrong with them and not to trust Internet sites for health information. Where else can you enter the details of something minor such as a headache and be diagnosed with a brain tumor? WebMD also serves as a reminder not to trust everything you read on the Internet. Even a site with the best of intentions could give you inaccurate information and nothing compares to the experience and skills of a trained physician! Do people really think a site can help them diagnose things that physicians have spent years in school to properly diagnose?
This is so true! And I never thought of doing that. Very crafty!
Great post. Although it’s true that WebMD feeds our worst fears, for some reason we still go back to it! Must be a symptom of some deeper issue…I wonder what illness WebMD would come up with for that.
So true! Maybe, Web MDitis?
I stay off WebMD nowadays. This time last year I was very ill, so dizzy 24/7 that I had to crawl on my hands and knees to move from room to room. I literally spent January to March laying down, sipping Ensure (the only thing I could keep down for “food”). I don’t remember the name now, but apparently it was an uncommon illness that lasts for an unspecified amount of time and isn’t curable. You just have to wait for it to go away.
Well, I didn’t know that at the time, and the docs weren’t having any luck figuring it out either (do you really have to pregnancy test me every single time I go to the clinic? you would think by the 150th pee stick…). I made the mistake of searching WebMD for my symptoms, and holey moley. Have you ever checked dizziness? It is a symptom for everything from ear infection to brain tumor. I actually started having panic attacks over that (and the fact that I was sick), when I had never had anxiety problems before in my life.
Oh wow! That would be very stressful!!!
What?? The Skeleton Key is amazing!! It’s really creepy though. But yeah WebMD makes everyone go insane and think they are going to die.
Thank you! I only know a few people who also like that movie!
Hysterical! So funny. Yes I too must avoid WebMd at all costs. I’m ill enough as it is.
Same here! I am working on it! I felt sick two weeks ago and was able to resist Web MD and then found out I had bronchitis from a real doctor. I can only imagine what Web MD would have come up with. Probably a collapsed lung or something lol.
We used to talk about this back in undergraduate psychology classes. People would get a rash, a fever, a headache, or something equally benign. However, after a trip to WebMD, they would come back in a state of panic, convinced that they have some kind of exotic disease, and desperate to get to the hospital. It reminded us a lot of reading the DSM-IV-TR – we would study some disorder or disease, and by the end of a section everyone would be self-diagnosing and worrying about what mental illness they had.
Information is great, but WebMD should only be a starting point, and not the panic-inducing fear monger that it often is.
By the way, LOL at the you are a werewolf diagnosis! Great post!
Aw thanks!!!
Yah, I had to delete that app– I’m already prone to thinking I’m dying. In fact, I have the amazing ability to MAKE LIMBS HURT just by thinking about them. One road trip I was convinced my arm had gone numb and had to drive 4 hours with one hand. It wasn’t and I was fine. Maybe it’s my head I need to check…
haha oh gosh! Hilarious!!
Hilarious! Share similar feelings towards Web MD, in my case everything points to a brain tumor.
Haha oh no!!
It’s even worse when you don’t have a doctor. For nine months I’m living abroad, stuck with some vague “health plan” that doesn’t involve getting a plan card or even a list of doctors I can visit or a guarantee that I will be reimbursed for doctor’s visits. Obviously this means that I’m never going to the doctor, because that would require too much time parsing the baffling rules of my purported health care package. Instead, I go to WebMD, where I most recently diagnosed myself as having bacterial meningitis (stiff neck, general malaise). Actually, I just needed to stop sleeping on my sofa.
Oh jeez! I think I would have had to block that site then lol!
I’d hate being a werewolf. I hate exercise
Agreed!
Great post. I think WebMD should require access codes issued to people who aren’t predisposed to hypochondria, because all their diagnoses point to something serious. Here’s my take on the site: http://pithypants.com/2011/08/01/i-didnt-realize-webmd-was-a-humor-site/
Oh my gosh! That’s awesome! I just re-blogged it. I hope you don’t mind!!
Very funny… Similar experience working in hospitals… Med student syndrome!
Oh gosh, I can only imagine!
Hilarious!
I’m just glad my dad never heard of WebMD when he was alive… just the thing for a conspiracy-believing hypochondriac.
Oh gosh haha! I completely understand!
very funny, glad you’re okay and congrats on being FP’d!
Thanks so much!
Fight the power, my friend!
maybe your hypochondria caused you to enter exaggerated search information, which inflated what your possible illness could be, and then your hypochondria caused you to over-react to an exaggerated search result. so it’s like hypochondria x 3.
That is a very plausible hypothesis! I’m sure I did!
interesting and nice post. no webMD, at any cost.
TechSmartLife
Thank you!!
I’m so with you on WebMD! I went there not too long ago because lately I have been having trouble breathing (yes I’m seeing a doctor soon) and basically I could have anything from just being out of shape to heart disease to lung cancer! I’m 36, a single mom of a 10 year old girl so the suggestion of heart disease or cancer totally freaked me out! – because basically my kid would be an orphan if I died. In the past WebMD had always helped but I’m never using it again.
As an asthmatic, I literally feel your pain. It can be very scary to not be able to breath and have chest pain! I hope you find out what is going on from your doctor!!
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Every time I look something up on Web MD I find out I have cancer.
I think it might be their default diagnosis lol
Thanks you cheered me up, and brought back part of my childhood. As kids, we had a lot of medical adventures, and there was no internet let alone WebMD back then.
Aw well I am glad to hear this! Thank you!!
Nice blog, Famous! It’s good to know I’m not the only one out there who thinks her lab/retriever mix has a dark, sinister plan in mind and in store (just as your beagle does). I attribute this strategic planning and plotting on her part possibly to the german shepard in her (like the one I was bit by in my youth) for creating mass chaos but alas, I am only guessing. Although, I will say, to her credit, she does not discriminate. BOTH of my daughters toys have taken the biggest hits… it’s all very Toy Story 2.
Haha oh gosh! See I suspect my beagle, but she is so lazy that I know the follow through isn’t there. With the German Shepard mix, I’d be on the lookout lol!
Ya, WebMD convinced me I had feline leukemia.
hahaha!!!
i avoid anything of that nature like the plague. even my doctor. ignorance is bliss. nice post.
Nice strategy! Thank you!!
I’m so glad someone wrote about this! Yes Webmd has helped me at times, but good god it is terrifying.
Thanks! I felt like I couldn’t be the only one out there who was intrigued/slightly terrified of it!
Werewolf theory uncovered… Great post
Yes! Haha thank you very much!
So true! I typed in that I was experiencing pain in my right ear, and Web MD told me I had Aseptic Meningitis. Went to the doctors, I had a middle ear infection, he gave me a few drops, and it was gone in a couple of weeks!
Haha oh gosh! I would have been freaking out!
I always do this…I’ve diagnosed myself via WebMD with everything from diabetes to SAD to bulging disks. Ironically, my last stint at self diagnosis was correct…oh well…I guess if you take a shot at the dark 10 time, at least one would hit.
Haha so true!
Great post, and I agree WebMD is dangerous. Everyone knows that when you need an accurate diagnosis you should go on Netflix and watch Grey’s Anatomy.
Haha yes! If not for anything else, but to fantasize about Patrick Dempsey being your doctor!
It just underscores the fact that NOBODY knows what to do or how to diagnose illness accurately..It is a guessing game and nothing more..I would not hold the folks at WebMD to exact accuracies in diagnosing anything when experience has shown me that even THE BEST at times get perplexed in diagnosing and establishing protocols for treatment.
WEBMD, is just something fun to read like wiklepedia…
If you are seriously hurting, you ain’t gonna go to webmd for a diagnosis anyway.
If you got a sore throat, and just sort of want to know what it is, maybe take a quick look and that’s all it’s for.
I have seen true emergencies. WebMD wasn’t even a consideration and even when consulting with the best of the best of the best, you find it’s ALL just a waiting, watching guessing game.
Agreed! Thanks for the feedback!
was just talking about this with my friends tonight! my thoughts exactly.
Hilarious article but it may help to know that you are in GOOD company. MANY first year Med Students historically have had “First-year-itis” which entails thinking they have EVERY disease they are studying about at the time. Very, very common!!
Your best bet is to have a Merck Manual and a Tabers Medical Dictionary in your book cases at all times. Honest. Also Urgent Care Centers usually have immediate MD’s available without waiting for long hours in EWs for such symptoms, ie., non life threatening.
At 20, it takes an “accident” for most people to be actually dying
Enjoyed and thanks again.
Ha ha, now you’re famous! Funny post.
I love your sense of humor! Look forward to weeing more. . .
Perhaps I should have said, look forward to seeing more. . .hahahaha
Reblogged this on Pages from my Crazy Life and commented:
I just HAD to reblog this because at first I thought it had been written by either my mother-in-law or my husband (see earlier post on Crazy People). I am relieved to see she isn’t the only crazy person who trusts WebMD – and from now on, when she says she has the list of symptoms mentioned in this piece — I’m going to tell her she is a werewolf — just as plausible and a lot more fun to talk about!
I had mono, pre-Web MD. I think my mom would’ve been just as worried either way. I had no clue how sick I actually had been until I looked at pictures of my skinny, milk-white self from those months many years later. I’m sure Web MD wouldn’t have helped matters at all.
Normally I would agree, but WebMD actually saved my life. For two days I had been experiencing stomach cramps and a slight upset stomach. Being a woman I attributed this to that time of the month. Well on the third morning I woke up, my boyfriend rolled over and placed his hand on my stomach very softly. I screamed and started writhing in pain. Shaking, sweating, and near puking from the pain in my stomach. A quick trip to WebMD on his part and he rushed me to the ER. The two ailments that the website suggested were two very real, and very possible, scares we’d been thinking. 1. An ectopic pregnancy (I hadn’t had a period in a few months) or 2. Appendicitis. After two hours in the ER it was determined I had Appendicitis. A few hours later I had surgery. I was told this days later that the surgeon actually told my boyfriend that my appendix was so swollen that if he had waited a few more hours on bringing me in it would have burst.
So in some very rare cases, WebMD is right. Note the VERY RARE. Most of the time it’s fucking crazy. It told me I had cancer once. I told it my eye hurt..
Wow! It’s good that you were able to have the surgery before something even worse happened!
Oh my gosh, I absolutely lost it once I got to the “cyanide poisoning” bit. I can’t even BEGIN to tell you how many times Web MD has led me to writing a mental will and causing myself ridiculous amounts of anxiety. From having symptoms of stroke to appendicitis to rabies to cancer…I have officially banned myself from Web MD.
Reblogged this on Nadz0511's Blog and commented:
This blog is awesome!
Thank you!
Amazing blog!
I suffer from health anxiety, all thanks to googling an achy jaw and headaches
I’ve had TMJ, a brain tumour, MS, chronic fatigue syndrome and detached retina all thanks to looking up my symptoms on the net
Skeleton Key is an AWESOME film by the way!
Yay! I’m so glad to hear that people like that movie!
Oh I completely agree! If you have a mild case of flu or some minor illness like that, Web MD can convince you that you’re practically on your deathbed.
A few months ago I was suffering from a sore throat and I put my symptoms into Web MD — it suggested I had throat cancer. I think it always jumps to the worst-case scenario. And it can be successful in freaking people out. Hey, that could be a tagline for their site.
“Web MD: scarier than a horror movie”
Haha yes that’s an awesome tagline!
To be fair on the Mono front, your doctor should have been better and certainly not jumped to that conclusion without tests.
And this is why I rarely look up my symptoms online. I can go from “I’m so damn tired all the time” to “I have 2 hours to live” in 3 minutes.
Love your tongue and cheek look at what has become a hypochondriac nation! I think we would all be in trouble is we followed the diagnosis out there for many things – I am sure I should have died at least a dozen times!!!! Must have been a cat in a previous life – using up another nine lives! Great post.
Great fun, thanks for a lift this morning,MJ
Couldn’t agree more! Going on websites like that only serves to make you afraid and paranoid! I made the mistake of doing it once and thought that I may have died from a simple skin irritation! :-0 Never again!
Too funny! My brother is of the idealogy beleive everything you read on the internet. I once got yelled at by a vet at an emergency animal hospital who said do not diagnose your dog on the internet. It was only giving sugar water to my dog who was dehydrated, but I felt like a 10 year old kid getting yelled at by my teacher (or mother.)
Great post and congrats on being Freshly Pressed.
I was afraid of reading this post because it had WebMD in the title! That website always freaks me out but I still check it out every time I feel under the weather. OMG, hives! I must have Lyme Disease! I seriously told my doctor I might have Lyme Disease because WebMD told me…my doctor checked for it!
Call or email a medical library if you need health research help. For example, I used to work at the University of Michigan’s medical library, and we had federal funding to help members of the public find health information. We referred patients to medlineplus.gov for health information rather than WebMD, as MedlinePlus is non-profit and does not have the bias/conflict of interest that comes from corporate advertisors. Mayo Clinic also has a lot of good stuff.
Funny post, but it sounds like it was your actual doctor that led you astray, not the web md. I’m not a doctor but if mono is s kid’s illness, why do so many get it in college?
If I were you I would use web md to look up some really scary stuff and then go back to your real doctor with some wicked symtoms, make him think he’s been exposed to something really awful. Then, before the tests some back, call him and tell him you were able self diagnose online, no need to worry, just a case of misinfo-itis.
Haha I like this idea!
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Self-diagnosis is a pretty scary thing!
I would start leashing up your beagle at night……just in case.
Congrats on being FP’d!
Good idea! And thank you!
Ha ha. Good one
lol, funny you posted this… I’ve been saying it all along.
*snicker* I’ve been saying this all along.
Dastardly Rabbit Hounds…have to watch that type…They are bewry bewry quiet, until they have you on the run.
Bless You
paul
hahahaha. I came to the same conclusion about a week ago: stop looking up symptoms, stop watching Dr. Oz, stop watching The Doctors.
I can’t tell you how many fatal diseases I have had in the last month. I have had a miraculous recovery, at the very moment I stopped these activities! lol Carol
First rule when feeling sick: STAY AWAY FROM THE INTERNETS. Or you could read about parasites or another disease you’re sure you don’t have (are you really sure?) to distract you.
Excellent post and I’m relieved to be amongst fellow fear mongers. Whenever possible, I do my best to avoid WebMD and stick to a variety of sites or simply wait and see. After all WebMD does stand for Web MisDiagnosis.
Well, now I’m glad I’ve never seen a single episode of this program. I have enough real issues without piling on a bunch of fake ones.
What a crack up! Awesome and clever. Congrats on getting Freshly Pressed
wow this is some thoughtful stuff
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Web MD is the devil, I believe. No matter what symptoms I would type in, WebMD would tell me I have the C word. (Now, you can tell how hypochondriacal I am if I can’t say or type the C word. Hint: It sounds like dancer.)
Get thee behind me, Web MD LOL !
Very funny! Thanks.
I leave the diagnosing to the professionals.
I like the blog!
I understand where you are coming from about the fear mongering part. I’ve been down that road too.
The only real thing I use WebMD for is learning about prescription drugs. Doctor’s these days are so rushed and don’t spend quality time with you. They write you a prescription and leave. I take a lot of medications and drug interactions can be deadly. I try to ask the Dr. about this and the response I get is that “no, interactions”. Well, I have proven that to be wrong on many cases due to the excellent database that WebMD has on prescription drug. In fact, it saved my life on a couple of occasions.
So, I don’t even bother trying to ask the Doctor anymore. I learn about the med on WebMD and go from there. I’ve pointed out this huge mistake to Doctors and the main reply is “we didn’t know you were taking those other drugs”. Well, they did. I listed those drugs on the initial paperwork I filled out.
The healthcare system has pushed these Doctors to see as many patients as possible, sacrificing quality time with the patient. And it will only get worse if Medicare payments to them are cut significantly. In the end, the patient is the one who suffers.
Yes, WebMD can cause undue fear– I’ve lost count how many patients, family, and friends have seemed my medical advice out of anxiety due to something they read on WebMD!
I totally agree! WebMD is a stimulus for stress…make sure you add that to the symptoms column.
I also have the goodreads widget but I don’t know how to add books to my bookshelf. Would you mind telling me how you did that.
Thanks! Yeah when you look up a book there will be a tab under the picture of it that says read, or to read and when you click it, it will automatically add it for you.
ok great, thanks.
Reblogged this on Kiara Lane.
Thanks for re-blogging! You’re awesome!
After reading your post “Web MD is a Fear Monger”, I have come to the conclusion (and this is a valid conclusion based on my many years of experience with the disease) that you are suffering from a case of “Terminal Normalcy” (yes you can sit down for a second and catch your breath) for which there is only one solution: Take two Jose Cuervo Premium Margaritas in the morning when you wake up, two at lunch and two in the evening while watching re-runs of “Everybody Loves Raymond” in Spanish (double up the dosage anytime you feel the need). You’ll have to do this for the rest of your life. It won’t cure you, but with that much Tequila and Curacao in your system . . . who cares!
Great post! Dr. J. (no, not the basketball player) from http://contemporarymusings.wordpress.com
This comment was not meant to be a substitution for proper medical advice. Please consult an experienced Bartender should you have any questions regarding the condition and diagnosis.
Haha awesome! Love it!
I had absolutely no idea that even web MD had altered content on it. Thanks for this insight. I have been using it blindly.